How to make people stop smoking

I find the idea of ‘hiding’ fags from smokers quite amusing.

Not that I’m belittling the seriousness of the habit. Seriously man give it up, I don’t want you to die!!!!!!!!! (Its bad for me viewing figures) And think bout all the fun stuff you could do with the cash you save, not to mention the extra lung capacity.

But the idea that keeping cigarettes ‘out-of-sight’ will stop people smoking is comical. It reminds me of my mum hiding cookies in the naive belief my cookie loving instincts would not win out, MUM I WILL ALWAYS FIND THE COOKIES!

Equally a smoker is not going to stop smoking because they have to ask for fags without seeing them. And does anyone really start because they can see the things? “Oh look at those really expensive tobacco sticks that will almost certainly kill me, I think I might try them as they look so nice next to the newsagents porn collection”. People start smoking cause they think it makes them cool and will help them get laid, not because they see fags on display in shops. Which brings me to the solution…

Cover all fag packets with messages like ‘I have erectile dysfunction’, ‘I am rubbish in bed’ and ‘only a minger would sleep with me’. THEN we’d see smoking decrease.

If you’re reading British Medical Council I am available on a consultancy basis