One Aircraft Carrier, One Previous Careful Owner, Few Scratches

Thinking about what to buy that special loved one for their next birthday? Maybe a romantic trip away? Some beautiful jewellery perhaps? Or maybe a second hand British aircraft carrier?! Yours for just… well actually it doesn’t say.

But what’s not to love (or actually get really depressed about) about the fact the British Navy has effectively put its legendary aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal for sale on ‘military-ebay’?! An entity that must have cost hundreds of millions now being auctioned off to the most egocentric multi-millionaire.

Are there any restrictions on who can buy it? I can see some billionaire Dad buying it for their spoilt brat child, let’s hope you don’t happen to annoy said brat, ‘give my toy back or I’ll set my Dad and his aircraft carrier on you’. What if Gaddafi bought it on the sly (Address – Mr ‘I’m Definitely Not Gaddafi’ Smith, Really Big Tent, Tripoli, Libya), suddenly he’d have an aircraft carrier and we’d have jack?!

I wonder what other jewels from the Ministry of Defence have been sold in such ways? The Super Furry Animals used to have a tank, I wondered how they got that? Probably won it in a bet with some drunken soldiers. Perhaps we could start selling off planes too? Nukes? Members of the Royal Family? We could probably make major progress cutting the deficit selling off relatively obscure members of the monarchy to rich Americans, ‘yes sir this really is Prince William, he just looks slightly different in real life. What you’d like a Wedding Invite? That’ll be half a million extra’.